I don’t like to write bummer posts at all… it’s super uncomfortable and borderline makes me annoyed with myself because I can feel like the things I am complaining about are totally frivolous and total first world probs…
At the same time I know it brings realness to me as a person and that not everything is awesome all.the.time. Sometimes life is hard and things are a bummer.
As you guys know starting The Balance Culture is totally something I am making up as I go along (it’s a tiny bit more strategic than that but you know what I mean 😉 ). There is no manual that I can refer to when things go down and it is a total faith walk 100% of the time. Sometimes I literally find myself holding my breath as I take the next step forward hoping and praying that God will be there to catch me and whatever situation I am dealing with at the time. Being the control freak that I am I live in a constant state of being out of my comfort zone. On one hand, I have gotten super used to it and on the other it constantly feels like I am making that initial leap over and over again. Puke.
I wanted to share this with you guys because I think oftentimes risk taking and the potential success that comes with it are glamourized. People (including myself) can make it look so easy and like things just came together, easy peasy! I think what we often forget (much like childbirth, so I hear 😉 ) is all the pain, sacrifices, loneliness, and obstacles we come across while trying to pursue whatever we are passion about. I think it is important to share these things because I know when people start pursuing their dreams and taking risks and all of a sudden begin to experience a little resistance they stop dead in their tracks because it’s not happening as easily as they thought, so it must not be right.
Like my Pastor Drew shared this past Sunday at Grace City Church a little resistance is good, it keeps us fighting, without feeling defeated. I agree with him that a little resistance lets me know that I am on the right path. Nothing ever comes easy, ever, and the larger the dream the bigger the price. There is no way anyone who has achieved anything big or small cannot agree with this. It’s almost like a rite of passage, like how bad do you really want it? So your character is up to speed once you get there.
Sometimes this is so uncomfortable like get me out of my skin uncomfortable (do you guys know what I mean?) but at the same time if it was too easy I would be super skeptical and would feel even more uneasy about that.
All this to say that today I am experiencing a little more resistance and it’s hard and super uncomfortable, but I will not live here, I will continue to push forward, pursue my passions with a fervency and not look back. There really is no other option… give up everything I have worked so hard for, hell no! God has called and I CANNOT stop!
When I was in college and buried in exams and papers (like my thesis) I would constantly tell myself “Kirstin who is on the other side of your obedience?” It was something I had heard as a kid in youth group and stuck with me for years. It constantly circulates through my brain even today. Especially today. People are worth it, so keep going.